9 Keys to Effective Parent and Teacher Communication

Parents / Families / Guardians know their children better than we will ever hope to. They are not only part of the team for supporting our students–we (teachers) are part of their team. Yet it can be so difficult to find enough time to communicate with parents meaningfully about each of our students. Intuitively, we know that being a strong, united team with parents will help students; this is also proven in the research that parent and teacher communication makes a positive impact on student success. However busy careers and lives can get in the way of making the needed connections.

Parents are working and caring for children. Teachers have limited time and lives and families of their own. Yet surveys show that both parents and teachers recognize that there is a lack of parent and teacher communication about curriculum, classroom life, home life, family culture, and student progress. This gap in understanding negatively impacts students’ success.

Teachers tend to jump to how to communicate with parents about school–and this is an important part of parent-teacher communication for supporting students. But it is also important to take time to listen to families about their home and culture. The more home and school cultures and expectations can complement each other, the more successful students will be.

1. Plan time to build relationships.

Sending home surveys (including how parents prefer to communicate), setting up meetings before school starts to learn from parents about their child, demonstrating listening, and clearly communicating your good intentions and faith in the student will go a long way. The investment in time upfront toward parent and teacher communication will pay off three-fold throughout the year.

2. Communicate positives.

The human brain’s negativity bias means that it takes three positive experiences to balance out one negative experience. To have a positive relationship with parents, this means each time you need to communicate a concern or issue with parents, hopefully it has already been balanced with at least three connections about progress, celebrations of success, or happy moments in the classroom.

3. Help parents feel like they are part of the classroom community.

Invite them in as guest speakers, to observe class, to read with students, or for parent nights. If they feel there is a wall between them and the classroom, this will lead to confusion and negative feelings. Instead, help your class feel like a community made of teacher(s), students, families, community members…this will enrich the students’ experiences and strengthen relationships.

4. Help parents feel informed.

Send information often by email, social media, text–however parents report they would like to communicate. Yet don’t have hard feelings if they don’t read it–families are busy! I recommend starting each communication with a bullet list of take-aways, then follow with more information about each one. Then, even if they just open the email and glance at it, they may get the important information you needed to convey. In your communication, start with “need to know” items like field trips or items they need to bring to class. Then communicate the “should knows”, like new units of study in the classroom. Then move on to the “nice to knows”, like ideas for studying spelling words at home effectively. We will likely lose some of our audience along the way that do not have time to read the whole communication, so we need to get the most important information to them first. Always make sure to include an invitation to follow up with any questions or ideas they have, so that the communication is not one-directional.

5. Be concise.

While it can be nice to include tips for spelling list study or book recommendations, we also need to be sensitive to the important and precious resource of time every communication asks for. Write in a friendly, warm, concise tone. Get to the point quickly! Bullet points and lists are our friends because we can “skim” for information.

6. Help children talk about school at home.

So many parents report that they get little or no information from their children about their school day. Your communication with parents can include information and questions they can use as conversation starters. You can also build expectations for students to communicate with families, such as portfolios that go home every Friday. In my class, I asked parents to establish a routine to help their students lead a “Portfolio Walk” every weekend at home. Students showed their work from the week and talked about their successes and challenges, as well as their goals for the upcoming week with their families. At the beginning of the year, I talked about this custom with families and gave suggestions for how they might support their child’s portfolio walk such as:

• Focus on process vs. product by asking questions like
  • Which work was the most challenging?
  • How did you feel about your work this week?
  • Which was your favorite work and why?
  • Which work do you feel most proud of and why?
• What goals do you have for next week?
• What did you learn this week?
• Parents can model by talking about their weeks at work, their own successes and challenges, and goals they have for the upcoming week.
• Encourage children to display works they choose themselves with pride at home. Help children not only choose the works that they succeeded at easily, but to also take pride in the works that caused struggle.

7. If communication is difficult, make a plan together.

Work schedules, language barriers, and communication methods can be serious barriers for some families. Learn about your school’s interpretive services and/or ask families what times and methods will work for them. Communication doesn’t have to be constant as long as it can be meaningful. Make an intentional plan with families for whom regular communication is more difficult so that as a team you know when you will have opportunities to discuss their student.

8. Recognize and respect limitations.

We have to meet parents where they are. If they say they don’t have time to meet, believe them. Parents love their children, and are doing their best. We have no idea how difficult it may be for a parent to find time to come into school around their work schedule, or find care for other children. It may even be hard for them to talk on the phone. A language barrier can make communication frustrating or intimidating. Believe them…and find the best possible solution given the circumstances. For example, offer to send a monthly summary email of all the (good and bad) updates that came up that month. If the family has a first language other than English, ask your school’s translator services to translate the email before you send it. If your school does not have a translator, your local library may be able to help you find resources.

9. Choose what’s most important.

If you have limited communication with a family, remember the 3-to-1 negative bias rule and narrow down your list of communication to the essential concerns, balanced with celebrations. All important information will need to be communicated in official reports, but for student goal setting too much information (especially negative information) can overwhelm parents or make them feel defensive. Keep the positivity ratio healthy and make sure to balance talking with listening, even if your time together is limited.

Finally, if you find that communication is tense with a family, expand your team. Ask administrators or colleagues to support you in finding a fresh, positive start to building a relationship with the family. You have common ground with every family: a desire to support their child. Build on this for a thriving classroom community and student success.