11 Stress Management Techniques for Kids: Lessons for the Classroom and Life

Stress for children ages 8-12 has increased by 45% over the last 30 years and continues to rise at increasing rates. Stress serves a biological purpose–when we experience stress hormones are released that trigger “fight or flight” reflexes and help us escape dangerous situations. However, as civilization has evolved these hormones are more often triggered by deadlines, tests, and interpersonal issues than bear attacks. Thus, we are experiencing more stress and in unproductive ways. Because of this, we must learn stress management techniques to take back control of our internal regulation and soothe ourselves in stressful situations.

As adults, we must not only present information and tools, but also model stress management. This does not mean pretending we never feel stress. It means modeling identifying stress, problem-solving stress, choosing tools to address stress, and self-monitoring. Stress management is a process, not a product–and it is a process we are all practicing our whole lives.

Four Parts of Stress Management Education

1. Teach children what it is, what purposes it serves, and how to recognize it.
2. Don’t vilify stress-it is natural. Instead, learn how to accept and manage it.
3. Offer concise tools and activities for recognizing and addressing stress.
4. Teach children to ask for help when they feel overwhelmed by stress.

Learning About Stress

1. Stress is natural and everyone experiences it.
2. Stress is caused when we feel endangered, and it triggers hormones to be released in our brains that make us feel “flight or fight” responses, which aren’t very helpful in today’s world. (But would be great if we were being attacked by a sabertoothed tiger!) While stress does serve a purpose, if we don’t know how to manage it we can experience “chronic stress”, which is not only miserable to experience but is linked to physical and mental health problems.
3. We can regulate the release of hormones and calm down our “flight or fight” response by using techniques to respond to stress. Often we need to focus on something else so that we can stop thinking about the stress, and distract our brain.

Activity: Create a list of stress triggers. Create a list of what stress feels like (irritability, anger, stomach aches, headaches, etc.)

Home extension: Keep a “stress log” for one week.

Stress Management Techniques for Kids

1. Breathing exercises-demonstrate and practice breathing techniques together. Here are some breathing exercises for younger children. Here are some for older children.
2. Talk to someone-help children know that when they feel overwhelmed, they don’t have to handle it alone. It could be a parent, a friend, or even a pet or stuffed animal. Teach deep listening skills as well as how to express needs and feelings, so that each child will be prepared to get and give support in their lives.
3. Body scans (muscle relaxation)
4. Visualization-have children, in a moment of calm, determine what makes them most happy. Is it cuddling with their dog in their room? Would it be a beautiful beach? Practice drawing or describing the special place. Then, practice visualizing the place, paying great attention to detail. The key is to focus on each detail to experience the associated happiness, and also to distract the mind from the stress.
5. Physical activity-run, jump, play basketball…get your body moving! Exercise releases endorphins, which are very different from stress hormones and make us feel happy and good. So, doing exercise you enjoy interrupts the stress response cycle with a more positive physiological response.
6. Nature-Research shows that time in nature reduces “happiness” hormones (endorphins and dopamine) and reduces cortisol levels (which is a stress hormone). This results in physical benefits to stress symptoms, such as lowering blood pressure, relaxing muscles, and calming brain activity.
7. Write about it-especially if we don’t feel comfortable talking about our stress with friends or family or a professional, writing offers a good outlet for processing our thoughts and emotions. Studies show that writing can combat stress by reducing negative and intrusive thoughts.
8. Self-care-sleep and nutrition are so important to stress management! Eating the right amount of the right foods and getting plenty of sleep are essential to staying healthy and balanced. When you get a good amount of high quality sleep, your body naturally reduces stress hormones like cortisol!
9. Problem-solving-any problem can feel overwhelming if we don’t know were to start to solve it. Creating a culture of identifying problems (even little ones), brainstorming all possible solutions, then choosing the best one empowers children to not be prisoners of their own stress and decreases the feelings of helplessness that make stress feel more unmanageable. Fostering a growth mindset can have a positive impact on children in EVERY way (academics, social relationships, ability levels…) including stress management!
10. Media literacy-in today’s world children are bombarded with media, and this can be a major source of stress for them. This can be because they are comparing themselves to others, being exposed to stressful or frightening concepts, even bullying–and compulsion for social media can cause stress simply because children don’t have the ability to manage their time on social media and balance their lives. This article offers a digital stress self-test. It’s written for older children but can be modified for younger kids.
11. Address negative self-talk-when you hear a child talking negatively about themselves, take this moment to help them process. This should be a private conversation. Don’t just tell them what they are saying is not true-this invalidates their feelings. Instead, help THEM examine whether what they are saying is true, and lead them to notice the positives that will help balance out the negatives they are focusing on. For example, if a child says “I’m stupid”, help them see all the things they are very smart about and think about all the different ways people show intelligence.

Other Resources

One of my favorite lesson resources is a series of lessons from KidsHealth. The first page includes a GREAT list of articles about stress written for kids.

Edutopia also offers a great list of questions for teachers to build into their classroom to create a culture of stress acceptance and management.

https://www.apa.org/topics/children/stress